Let’s be genuine here, the economy is in the crapper and your 401k looks about as arousing as you do after a cold shower. What’s a Burgundy drinking, ‘stache rocking, web browsing Internet denizen like you to do? Change up your skill set by ogling timepieces you’ll never be able to pay for and learning what makes them tick.
Most of these timepieces are more complex than college calculus and have more history than you could learn in a life-time. You might even require an engineering degree and an instructional tome to figure out how they work. Regardless, all these timepieces (for one reason or another) are extremely cool and ridiculously expensive. Sell the Ferrari, liquidate the stocks, and pick up one of these bad-ass timekeeping gadgets.
The Patek Caliber 89 – $5,120,000
Purchasing this watch would need selling 3.5 Bugatti Veyrons, which occurs to be 70% of the total number they sold in 2005. The nearest most of us will ever get to a Veyron is drooling over it on Top Gear. It’s all about perspective here persons. Three Veyrons. Say it out loud – Three. Veyrons. So what makes this watch worth $5.12mil? For starters, it is the most complex watch on the planet with 33 complications. Primarily, it needs a degree in mechanical engineering to understand, but suffice it to say it has everything but the kitchen sink. It also took more time to design than you spent in college (such as those extra years “studying” chemistry).
Split Seconds Patek Philippe Reference 1436 By Tiffany & Co. – $214,000
It’s emblazoned with the Tiffany & Co. name, so you know it’s gonna be costly. In comparison to the rest of the timepieces on this list though, it’s really pretty affordable. Well, you know, if two-hundred grand can ever be regarded as cheap. You’re getting the Patek and the Tiffany names, what else could you want? The ability to time two events that start at the same time but end at different times – you didn’t think those fancy blue hands were just for show did you?
Patek Philippe Ref 5016P – $762,000
Rounding out the Patek trinity is the Ref 5016P (The P stands for platinum, duh). This watch is the 2nd most complex timepiece that Patek has made. The issue with timepieces of this caliber the need for adjustments, but Patek has an app for that. If you keep this moon-phase, perpetual calendar, retrograde behemoth working continuously it won’t require adjusting until 2100. That’s something your children’s children’s children will most absolutely enjoy.
The Breguet Marie Antoinette – $XX,000,000
This watch was initially made by Breguet himself and has more items (823) than an iPhone. It’s self winding, has a minute repeater, perpetual calendar, equation of time, jumping hour, power reserve indicator, and a bimetallic thermometer – everything but MMS messaging. It took forty-four years for the unique to be constructed and Breguet and Marie Antoinette both died before it was completed. Ultimately, the original watch disappeared, never to be seen again. When Swatch obtained Breguet, an Indiana Jones style quest for the watch began. When they came up short they reproduced the watch using only the pictures of the original. Breguet has received offers in the eight digit range, but still refuse to sell.
Jaeger-LeCoultre Gyrotourbillon 1 – $400,000
This watch is definitely complex, but it has a feature some of the others don’t, a tourbillon. What’s a tourbillon? A wrist-mounted anti-gravity gadget. Tourbillons prevent gravity from adversely impacting accuracy. Normal tourbillons only rock one-axis anti-gravity, this tourbillon rocks two. No word yet on when the 3rd and 4th axis will be integrated.
Rolex Submariner – $234,000
At some point in time, everybody has held, worn, or owned a Rolex Submariner. This one is unique because it was held, worn, and owned by the one and only Steve McQueen. That’s right, the “King of Cool” owned this specific submersible, self-winding, stainless steel oyster bracelet Rolex. You’re getting time, Rolex, and bona fide badassery.
Vacheron Tour de l’Ile – $1,250,000
Vacheron is the oldest watch producer still in lifestyle since its inception in 1755. 250+ years of history permits them to build timepieces that eclipse most others. The Tour de l’Ile has tourbillon, two faces, and more complications and parts than even the Breguet Marie Antoinette (preferably without the beheading) making it the most complex serial wrist watch ever manufactured. It’s worth JUST shy of a Veyron… unless you buy used.
AP Royal Oak Grande Complication – $560,000
Audemars Piquet does it again with the Royal Oak Grande Complication. The Grande Complication is a different watch that has a perpetual calendar precise until long after you will no longer be alive. It has a lot of the same complications as the other timepieces (minute repeater, split seconds chronograph, aforementioned perpetual calendar) but presents them in a way that doesn’t need a thousand page instruction manual just to read. Real males don’t use instruction manuals.
Richard Mille Tourbillon – $525,000
Look at it. It appears to be like a Rube Goldberg machine had sex with the Gugenheim and the offspring was skeletonized. Pretty a few of these timepieces have modern components, but none of them have the modern design that this watch does. Made of aluminum, titanium, and amazing it would be the excellent compliment for the new clear hood you just put on the Ferrari.
Ulysse Nardin Triplejack Minute Repeater – $340,000
It may be crazy, but this watch looks like holds some deep, dark, historical secret that only Nicolas Cage can uncover. But that may just be the three Jacks “hammering the bells to separate the quarters from the minutes.” Sure, it’s more highly-priced than a Ferrari, but something about this watch just looks a lot less complicated. Since when did you just want to tell time with your watch?
This is the point in the movie after the credits roll where you get that wicked cameo that’s sole purpose is to say thanks to an underappreciated celeb. In this case, the star is none other than Ben Clymer of